I believe that during the middle of the night your body temperature drops to 45 degrees below zero Fahrenheit. This is so it will always be warmer than the feet of the person in bed with you.
I believe that a little bit of Santa Claus exists in the soul of anyone who has ever bought a lottery ticket.
I believe that dogs know something we don't.
I believe there's no accounting for taste. I can't even find a taste accountant in the phone book.
I believe that someday, someone will successfully market a sports car called "The Antichrist."
I believe that there's only one medicine cabinet in the universe, that we all share it, and it's okay if I go through the portion of it that's at your house when I visit, because it's mine, too.
I believe that 4,000 years from now, auto dealership owners will still be appearing in their own television advertisements.
I believe that the accumulated charges from so-called "free" phone calls to 800/888 numbers are the cause of the national debt.
I believe that the world is round, that Man has been to the Moon, and that black holes exist in the center of the Milky Way, but I'm pretty sure that weather radar is fake.
I believe that if you're going to have to spend $16.88, there should be something on the flip side of an audio CD.
I believe in playing Go-Moku on frozen waffles. You know, the big ones in the red bag.
I believe that Karl Marx wrote Das Kapital for the money.
I believe that bees make cheese.
I believe that cable television can promote world peace. If we gave everyone cable television, they'd be too busy watching Wheel of Fortune and buying crap from the shopping channels to make war on anybody.
I believe that certain kinds of sports statistics will still exist after the Universe ends.
I believe that the Great Pyramids of Egypt were built on spec.
I believe that nine out of ten dentists surveyed about anything are too busy to consider the question properly.
I believe that aliens in UFOs are trying to destroy our civilization by bombarding us with junk mail.
I believe that everything I've ever lost is stored in a Government-owned warehouse in Paramus, New Jersey.
I believe that the Universe has a certain je ne se quoi, but I don't know what it is.