Rinzai Satori: The Next Generation

On October 28th, 1996, at 7:28 PM, Rinzai Satori (whose mild-mannered alter-ego is more or less pictured here) assisted his wife, Dr. Zazu Zazen (who is not at all flattered by this rendering) in her delivery of an 8 lb. 4 oz baby boy, Mr. Poop Machine (aka The Droolinator).

Although still at a tender young age, Mr. Poop Machine excels in a variety of activities: But seriously, folks, he's a wonderful baby, we're getting on just fine, and (just like every other proud first-time father you've ever met) I couldn't resist letting the world know he's here. As for me, I'm stunned, I'm amazed, I can't believe I have even one parenting instinct, but my wife tells me I'm doing great, and I have to believe her because her degree is more advanced than mine. I'm not only beside myself with excitement, I'm in back and front of me, too. (And I still can't believe I sat through 6 weeks of childbirth prep classes.)