J. Brook Monroe is oblong, yet orthogonal. He holds a degree in Computer Science, but will have to give it back when the owner returns from the restroom. He has written many essays and poems, usually in ballpoint pen on enamel-covered metal with the stall door closed. He believes that he is currently employed, and spends his days playing Doom, Quake, and Marathon even when people are looking. His hobbies include aprandial vegetarianism (he consumes no animal flesh or byproducts when he isnít eating), inventing new 7-sided shapes, and asking complete strangers to pull his finger.
William H. Sawyer was born to be alive. He is the Cadillac that zigs. He is a metaphor, yet very much like a simile. He would never hesitate to lay down someone elseís life for his own. He occupies a cubicle at a large computer software company and hopes they donít find out. His hobbies include refrigerator spelunking, mildly gross anatomy, and using the vegetable medley to re-enact the Battle of Gettysburg at dinner parties.
Jason S. Coleman is a no-nonsense absurdist. He drives a big Diesel semi for the excellent mileage and maneuverability. In the summer he visits nudist camps from a distance, usually with binoculars. He works part-time stocking bait shrimp at a local marina. His hobbies include gilding highway overpasses, wiping himself with those little scented paper towels in the foil packets, and writing a complete history of the aglet (that little plastic thing on the end of a shoe lace).
Holly Jamison has betrayed the human race to a species of intelligent octopoids living in the Beta Hydri nebula, and awaits our just retribution. She is charming, attractive, and intelligent, and lives in a run-down shack at the edge of town with 10,000 cats. She works in a recording studio and keeps a microphone under her seat cushion "just in case." Her hobbies include preening, crying at her own parties if she wants to, and studying the impact of bric-a-brac on liberal politics.
Jon C. Holman was the person who originally convinced Albert Einstein that the speed of light is the same for all observers. He signed the Declaration of Independence; the government will be very upset when it finds out, as he did it in 1976. His hobbies include tartar control, Antarctic cuisine, and weaving dental floss and bed sheets into escape ropes.
Rob Davidson's one-man show, "Hey, I'm Freezing My Ass Off Here, Got Any Spare Change?" ran for years on Broadway, although not actually in a theatre. Rob almost invented the "high-five," but his version never caught on because you didn't use your hands. His hobbies include keeping his tray table in its full, upright, and locked position, and remaining seated until the aircraft has come to a full and complete stop, and the Captain turns off the seat-belt sign.
Dr. Frances C. Monroe, Ph.D. is married to the principal looney of this bunch and promised years of marital strife and discord if he writes anything bad about her. Her hobbies include watching Word 97 lock up while sheís writing exams with it.